I was chatting to a friend in Peterborough today and we ended up discussing happiness. More especially, what influences happiness and why young people now seem to be more unhappy despite how far the world has advanced since we were teenagers.
There isn't a single answer to this, it's larger and more complex. People talk about Baby Boomers, Generation X and now we speak about Millenials. What's different, is that if you were a teenager 30-40 years ago, you didn't have access to everything that is around now. You had 3-4 TV Channels and no Mobile Phone. All the things you've watched slowly appear over the last 40 years are now available immediately to Children and Teenagers.
There are so many more things out there that your Children can compare themselves against. 40 years ago you might notice your friend had a better bike than you or they're family had a larger house. Now, you can be bombarded with it on 100's of TV Channels and Social Media. Celebrities used to be able to create an enviuos life that we all wanted, now we have anyone on Social Media manufacturing what looks like the dream life. So how is this related to Desire?
We can improve happiness by changing what we desire. There will always be something that seems better than what we have. There is nothing wrong with being aspirational and wanting to have a goal to achieve something. But this still needs to be balanced against continuing to be unsatisfied with what we have. Over many years now I have adjusted the way I see the things around me. I have learned to Desire the things I have more than the things I haven't. It's like falling in love with something all over again. By doing this it has not only made me happier but it's also made me feel more at peace, or chilled out, if that makes more sense.
I still like to look at things like houses on Right Move or Cars on Autotrader and I can appreciate them when I look at them. But I no longer use that feeling to make me feel unhappy or dissatisfied with what I have. We often use our desire for something else as a reason to invent or find fault with what we have so we can justify the new thing we desire. In my case, I can celebrate what is different about what I have instead of looking at these things as worse.
I hope you enjoyed this short Blog. If you live in or around Peterborough or Cambridgeshire and you feel like speaking to a Life Coach then please get in touch. Talking with a Life Coach isn't something that people with problems do. Speaking with a Life Coach is no different from having a Sports Massage each month. You aren't always treating a problem with your muscles you may just be going to keep them in good condition.