4 key signs you need validation from others
1. You're a social Chameleon
When you are around others you tell people what they want to hear. You spend your time trying to fit whatever you feel they want you to be so they like you. It's like an acting masterclass at social events and instead of being enjoyable you probably feel exhausted.
2. No control over how you feel, life's a rollercoaster
If validation doesn't come from inside then constantly looking to others for validation means that you have no control over how you feel. If you don't receive the validation you are looking for from others then you're emotional state is going to be affected negatively. One minute you're up, the next minute your down. You'll fear criticism and constantly worry about what others think of you.
3. You don't know who you are
If you spend all your time being what others want, then you eventually lose touch with who you are and what's important to you in your life. You become a million different people, multiple personalities and have no idea which one is actually you.
Part of being what people want you to be can also go hand in hand with wanting them to perceive you as someone who is also impressive. So, while you're fitting into whatever they want you to be you'll also find yourself over inflating personal qualities and aspects of your own life during social interactions.
If this sounds like you then what's next? Well, you can carry on as you are if you feel it's not impacting negatively on your wellbeing, though I would question whether you're being honest with yourself if that were the case. To have no control over how you feel but say you're happy would most likely mean you are reading this during one of your high moments.
You could go down the self-help route. Search out articles or self-help books related to this subject and read them thoroughly. Implement the suggestions you find gradually over time and see how you feel.
Or contact a Life Coach like myself. The one think self-help books and articles can't provide is active listening and feedback through the process. You can also become overwhelmed by the number of suggestions and ideas out there. Having a path to follow and someone to speak to along the journey is more likely to yield success.
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